5.14.2009

Total Eclipse of the Heart defeats These Dreams!

The Contenders:

"Total Eclipse of the Heart" - Bonnie Tyler

vs.

"These Dreams" - Heart


The Story:

Maybe you've heard these songs, but seriously--have you seen these music videos?

What. The. Fuck.

First off, there's the hair. I mean, fine, everyone in the '80s had beautifully ridiculous, fantastically gigantic hairstyles. Whatever. Having said that, I think the Wilson sisters have edged out Ms. Bonnie Tyler on this one; the volume is flat-out impressive.

Next are the ninjas.

I mean, what's an '80s pop power ballad without ninjas in the music video? Fortunately in this case, Bonnie Tyler and Heart have managed to get them in there in both cases (at 1:13 and 1:27 respectively). Seriously, go look at these videos and try telling me that those are not ninjas. Since they've both got them, this category is a draw.

Then there's the zombie category, another obviously necessary element of any good '80s music video. I'm giving Heart the benefit of the doubt on this one, because the hands reaching up at them throughout are kinda "zombie-like," if you want to call it that in the event that it makes your blog post appear more cohesive.

But Bonnie... ohhhh, Bonnie. Not only did you include zombies in your video--you gave them leather jackets and made them do the Macarena (at 1:54). I love you, Bonnie Tyler.

Finally, "Total Eclipse of the Heart" was in Old School and "These Dreams" was not.

Oh yeah, plus they're really good songs blah blah blah pick your favorite.

VOTE ON THE RIGHT!

2 comments:

  1. Bonnie Tyler totally wins this one ... the dove at 0:16, the crazy eyes at 0:45, all the blowing curtains, the creepy boy with another dove in 1:07, the weird men in banana hammocks, then of course there are the ninjas, the fencing dancers, the fact that the wind is continuously blowing her crazy 80's hair, the zombies in leather jackets (as you've cleverly pointed out are doing the macarena) and the zombie football players, there's a food fight at the dinner table, then you have a whole choir of weird eyed zombie people and that creepy boy again, then you've got a bunch of male broadway dancers surrounding her, she's saved by some weird angel and then it's daytime, she's at a school with little boys, and the weird eyed guy makes another creepy appearance telling her 'turn around bright eyes'. This video takes the cake! FOREVER'S GONNA START TONIGHT!

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  2. Just incredible. I'm so glad this video exists.

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